Have you ever stepped back form an intense moment and observed yourself and the context of your surroundings?  It’s a sort of philosophical out-of-body experience, and at some point in this last year I found myself doing just that during a Sunday morning worship service at church.  I don’t remember what song we were singing, but I know my soul was testifying to the truth expressed in the lyrics.  Tears slipped down my face as my hands lifted up in praise and supplication.  My whole being resonated with the words of the song.

This experience is not unusual.  I often respond to worship music like this.  What was unusual was that it stopped suddenly with this philosophical out-of-body experience I mentioned earlier.  In the midst of worship I looked over at my 13-year-old son, who also loves to worship God, and had this thought occur to me: How can I explain to him why this song speaks so powerfully to me?  And, in that moment, I was speechless.

I know that when we worship our Creator, our spirit resonates with his – it proclaims, YES! Your attention is in a worthy place! That alone is enough to stir our souls; but my soul was testifying from life experience that the words of this song were tried and oh-so-true.  What became a bur under my saddle, so to speak, was that I couldn’t think of any specific life stories that I could share with my son at the moment.

That’s ok, because he has his own experience that testifies to God’s faithfulness, and that’s why he slips into worship so easily.  But what will happen when his world is shaken or he finds himself in a barren wilderness and needs the testimony of others to find his way out?  Or what about the world around me that has not yet tasted of God’s goodness in all circumstances?  Do they watch my faith and wonder how it could be so strong?  What would I say if they ever  asked?

Again… In that moment… Speechless…

That is how The List began.

The List is just that: a list.  When I find my heart pounding in agreement to truth I hear in a song or read in Scripture, I get my list out.  I write down the phrase that stood above the others, and then I just try and remember when in my life I experienced it as true.  As the Lord brings memories to the forefront, I write them down.  I want them to be a record for my son and for anyone who asks me for the proof of my faith.  Moreover, I want to remember.

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live.  Teach them to your children and to their children after them.  Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God… Deuteronomy 4:9-10a

For example, I find myself nodding my head when I come across Scripture about God’s perfect timing and his ways being so much better than ours.  Why am I agreeing so readily with that?  Pause…  Remember… Oh, yes…  I’ve experienced this truth with multiple jobs, moves, the perfect friend at the perfect time, and our one and (God only knows why) only son.  A lyric is tucked into the chorus about healing and I find myself smiling with gratitude.  It’s more than a nice concept!  I’ve seen it!  When?  Pause…  Remember…  My grandma’s heart attack, my eczema, my son’s tear duct, our bathtub (funny story), dear friends’ babies born with heart defects, trauma, and my parents’ marriage.  The songs about freedom really get me riled up!  Why, though?  I don’t have a dramatic story about addiction or imprisonment.  Pause… Remember…  I have been freed from despair, jealousy, comparison, shame, and lack of identity.  Scripture about God being our provider and Lord of all cause me to whisper, “Amen” as I read along.  We’ve not been strangers to economic hardship, but how has God provided for us?  Pause… Remember…  There was the time we asked him to help us raise money for a graduate course, and he did.  There was that huge labor and delivery bill that we weren’t prepared to cover because of an emergency c-section, and he gave us grace with the billing department resulting in a significant discount.  There was the time that our own church family was going through so much transition while we lived overseas that we needed another church family to adopt us and care for us, and God provided one.  People tell us you have such luck finding good used vehicles at unbelievable prices.  No, it’s God’s provision for us!

I could go on and on with my list, but I don’t want to overwhelm you with my testimony.  I would much rather you pause when you find yourself resonating with God’s truth, and remember why that is.  Beyond that, record it somewhere!

Allow me a closing illustration.  There are certain hymns that return to my heart more often than others, one of those being Great is Thy Faithfulness. In my opinion, this is a fantastic example of those verses from Deuteronomy.  It is a nostalgic hymn for me because of its generational impact – it was one of my grandfather’s favorite hymns.  He was a quiet man in most regards (I think his dog spoke more than him), but when the song leader of his small country church would direct the congregation to open their hymnals to Hymn #54, he would open up and let loose the testimony in his soul.

As a child, I didn’t know what that testimony was.  There was simply something invigorating to see a weary, quiet, and worn farmer instantly shed his burdens and come alive during that song.  As an adult, hearing the stories from my preceding generation, I’m even more impacted by his faith that grew in a climate that would have maimed most.  My grandfather was a farmer raised in the Great Depression, and so he also worked in a factory to help make ends meet.  He lost his first wife and mother of his four children.  He remarried (to my widowed grandmother), bringing two more adolescent and grieving children into his house in addition to his ailing and aging mother.  Through grief, economic hardship, the gamble of farming, and leading a blended yet grieving family, my grandfather stood tall with straightened shoulders and a clear voice declaring great is God’s faithfulness.  I wonder what specific things were on his List.

Here are the words that hymn is founded upon:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
Leviticus 3:19-26

­And so I encourage you to make The List that you can share with subsequent generations and the world around you – those who are watching you come alive as you encounter truth that your soul can testify to.

Remember…

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live.  Teach them to your children and to their children after them.  Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God… Deuteronomy 4:9-10a